The Riley's

Day 2 and 3 FAIL

2012-01-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

So to answer a couple of questions, I found out on Dec. 21st. How am I dealing? I am finding it to get more difficult and why day 2 and 3 weren't really detox days for me. The thing that is difficult is that people keep telling me that the decision to have a hysterectomy is an easy one since I have three children. As true as it may be that I have 3 children and I was pretty much done anyway, the idea that I will never ever get to hold a newborn in the still of night and rock her, or feel the tenderness that comes from nursing, and the special little feeling that abounds when a new baby is brought home is right now crippling to me. A lot of people are expecting babies that I know and I am SO HAPPY for them, honestly I am and now I am wishing that maybe I could have just one more. I don't feel as done as I thought I did partly because of a dream I had earlier this week.

In this dream I dreamed of a little baby girl that was about as big as Taylor was when she was born and I saw her so vividly and saw them hand her to me and I felt what I felt for my little ones when they were first handed to me and they were MINE. As the dreamed continued quite fast paced, I went through all the feelings I described above and woke up just as I realized in my dream that this couldn't be my baby and that I wouldn't get to have her in my earthly home. At that point in the middle of the night, I began to cry a heartache I NEVER thought I would feel. I know it's really hard to describe and probably doesn't make sense but for me it is crippling right now.

The food thing is difficult and not because of what I can eat but because of the lack of versatility in my diet with those things and the fact that this weekend is a celebration weekend in many senses. I think today I even had something that had cow's milk in it. Talk about feeling defeated. I am committed to the raw food lifestyle and am realizing that it will take time to work it into my lifestyle.

The whole process of this cancer thing is overwhelming at this point. I feel tired and somewhat depressed I think. It is all I can seem to think about which is SO ANNOYING!

Day 1 Results

2011-12-30T08:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a rough day. I had very little in the house that I could eat and the green drink Jay decided to make was disgusting. He chose just kale with flax and pumpkin seeds and neither one of us could finish it. I drank from my glass for about an hour. I recommended that We put something else in with it. Today I am going to do a cucumber drink instead. I took the time last night to soak a bunch of beans and barley so I could make some food today. I had quinoa for dinner but because I was so ravenous I just grabbed a flour tortilla and stuffed it with quinoa and put on some taco sauce. After that I had lettuce with quinoa and taco sauce with it. The only problem is I'm not supposed to eat any salt or sugar and well... I need to figure out how to make some sauces without those but I think it is futile. I think for now I will just use vinegar. Today I am going to make a bean dip that I can eat all day with onions and garlic in it with some cumin... It won't taste completely right without the salt but it will suffice and should fill me up nicely. I'm lucky that I love vinegar to help me with salads. Over all I think with each day it will become easier. Hopefully with the preparation from last night I won't be so lost as to what to eat. Malnutrition isn't good either.

Cancer

2011-12-29T07:58:00.001-08:00

So it's been awhile. I am dedicating this blog to my fight against cervical cancer and the huge lifestyle change to eating raw food to aid in that fight. Today I will begin a detox for my body. I have already not had a soda for 5 days, which is HUGE for me and eliminated all dairy and meat from my diet. It hasn't been that difficult but finding things to replace it has been very difficult but after receiving some great idea's last night, I feel empowered.

Let me be clear to all of you my dear friends. You may not agree with raw food living and that is fine but for me right now you either have to be on board or get off. I have prayed about this and feel that it is the right life change for me and my family and having a bunch of naysayer's around will not help. I will continue with surgery in a couple of weeks and am making this change for my life permanently since apparently how I was eating wasn't working. I BELIEVE FOOD CAN HEAL and nobody will change my mind about that. It has been ingrained in my life since the time I was a little girl. I will let you know how detox goes and what challenges I face during that time.

I truly believe that if anyone can make this kind of change, I can.

Been a while

2011-09-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

So it's been awhile. We are good and we are busy! I'm a better mom and I feel good about being what I consider a good mom. I've worked hard over the last year to change the things I don't like and I've truly become a better mom.

I also realized that my period makes me a bad person so I will never go off birth control ever again. Here's to modern day medicine!

Potty Training Part 2

2011-05-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

Following Amber Keller's recipe for success Sarah is almost fully potty trained. She hasn't had an accident for almost 3 days, except when Dad was watching and put her in a diaper, and seems to tell me when she needs to go.

All the credit goes to Amber for her amazing advice and know how! It is time consuming but it is well worth it. I still feel apprehensive so I keep her in a diaper when we are out but we went all through Costco the other day with no accidents and she told us when she needed to go! I am pretty sure she holds it as well because today she wouldn't go in the Dr.'s office but when we walked out and went to the Bathroom down the hall, not 30 seconds later, she went potty!

I will wait until I am not apprehensive anymore before declaring her fully trained!

Potty Training

2011-05-16T11:29:00.000-07:00

It's becoming fairly intrusive that my baby watches me go to the bathroom and either moves my legs out or tries to push my bottom out of the way so she can see EXACTLY what I am doing. The upside... a HUGE celebration after she figures out exactly what I did. ;)

Dyslexia

2011-03-21T23:07:00.000-07:00

Taylor has dyslexia. We are beginning a tutoring process for her and are extremely grateful that this mama listened to her intuition and when all other's said, "it's" normal she listened to that still small voice.

It is crazy to think that my little one will struggle with this but honestly it is very comforting to finally know what's been going on with her. I don't really want to delve into the how I caught it and the process I have gone through to figure this all out but I do have a point to make.

My point? I want mother's to know that they indeed have a spiritual gift of discernment when it comes to their little ones. I feel extremely lucky to not have listened to all those who have said, "she will out grow it", "we all suffer from dyslexia in some way at some point"," just wait", "first do this then we will do this".

When you know something is off with your little one, don't stop until the spirit confirms that you have done all you need to do. As of today I finally have a peace in my heart that has confirmed what my answer is through ALL the research I have done. (I haven't studied anything like this since I was in college) The next step I will take with Taylor will be the right one for now, it may not fix it all together but it is a good jumping off point and I know that this program will give me the skills to help her be so successful! Each person I have spoken to has said, "It is always the mother, they always know something isn't right. You are really great for catching this so soon."

Listen to your hearts, you know!

p.s.

It really isn't any surprise she has it, after all she is super intelligent like all the other dyslexics out there. Just to name a few: Ansel Adams, Leonardo Da Vinci, Winston Churchill, Woodrow Wilson, Einstein ect. The list goes on and on, that's all I can name for now, well there are a bunch of movie stars but who really cares about those ones. :)

The Dog Days are Over...

2011-03-08T21:39:00.001-08:00

So last time I posted it was a little sad right? Well here is the good news. Over the last two months since I last posted I was very blessed to be able to clearly see the wisdom in my husband being without a job and all the blessings that Heavenly Father bestowed upon us during the last year and 31 days. (Who was counting right?) It became very apparent the lessons I was to learn and quite frankly I was humbled beyond my own comprehension. Without going in to all the lessons in detail, basically I learned the benefit of wonderful friends, service, serving, patience, long suffering, faithfully serving in church and wisdom in trials.

I know most people think it is so ridiculous to be grateful for trials but this one I am grateful for and was before.... JAY GOT A NEW JOB!" Other trials, like loosing loved ones, specifically my mother not so much, but this one I am. I can't really express in words how grateful I am that my prayers were answered even though it wasn't what I was praying for. Heavenly Father does hear and answer our prayers in the ways that will benefit us the most.

Now details, Jeremy accepted a position for a local interactive design firm, (same type of work as before) as their Director of Technology. (please do not congratulate him on Facebook as he is continuing to grow his own business and doesn't want to compromise those relationships.)

I miss having him at home. It is so funny because the first 5 months were okay with him here, the next 4 months were AWFUL, and then the last 3 months it has just become normal and we have worked out all those kinks only to have him gone now. I miss him but I must say we are settling back into normal life quite nicely. He said to me tonight that he misses being able to come in and see me when he needs to go to the bathroom, grab a drink or food, or just to come chat. I miss it too but also am glad he is back to work.

All is good here in the Riley household if not because of Jay's job then because Nicole is running and mainly doing kick-boxing. Yes I LOVE it and it is so fun... well after I move past the white light I see calling me home. For the first 45 minutes all I think about is my possible grandchildren and running in this big open field that I hope we have some day. What I say to myself? "Come on Marino, do it for those little ones, they need to love you more than the other grandma" I am suddenly filled with a burst of energy and I no longer see white light! :)

2010-12-10T20:03:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try to be better mom.

New post

2010-12-06T21:28:00.000-08:00

Why haven't I posted in so long? Because life has sucked for us for 2010. I could go on and on about all the little blessings we have had amongst our trial but the reality is, I have noticed them, I do notice them and now I am done. I have had faith, patience, I've been long suffering, served righteously in all my callings, payed a full tithe and well it just hasn't paid off. 11 months unemployed and well no Christmas at our house. So that's where I have been. Busy being cheerful, busy being optimistic and it hasn't paid off. What more do I have to learn, nothing. Now I just sit and wait and hope.

Happy Holiday's!!! ( still haven't lost my fantastic sense of humor)

Things I want to hold onto

2010-07-23T00:32:00.001-07:00

Sarah's pat's when she cuddles up to us. The special opened mouth kiss that every baby gives. The sounds of my girls giggling as Sarah makes them laugh. Sarah's feet kicking wildly as her sisters run by. the word Mama, The way Sarah points at something or us and doesn't say anything but spits a little, the phrase, "mom I want to spend time with you." Reading at bedtime, Singing in the car at the top of my lungs with three little lady's who think I am the funniest, bestest, most fun mom ever, at least at the moment, a nice clean NAKED baby who wriggles ups so close as you take her out of the bath, Patty cake, mouse trap, connect four, peek a boo, the smell of baby lotion, the big fits of laughter only little girls can seem to muster as they play together, waking up to a baby touching my face, swimming with three little girls who obviously should live in water, matching Sunday outfits, tender little hugs from three tender little girls.

"These are the times to remember, these are the days to hold onto."

Are we done yet?

2010-06-18T23:34:00.000-07:00

So our neighborhood has a community garage sale once a year. Per our HOA we can only do a garage sell at that time of the year. I was all prepared to sell all things baby but I admit I haven't prepared much. There really isn't any need. Baby clothes are already separated by size in bins so I waited until tonight to just do a quick run through and set things up. I was fully prepared to sell all my baby clothes for close to nothing to rid myself of them but tonight as I popped open some lids it became all to apparent that this little mama may not be ready to do so.

I guess the biggest thing for me is that all of my 0-12 months clothes were basically purchased by or with my mom and I can see all three of my baby's in them so vividly. There are some outfits that all three girls have worn and they are in mint condition. As I peered into the storage bins and began looking at the clothes I would have no trouble selling I realized I just couldn't yet. What is weird is that I feel very comfortable selling the bouncer, swing, car-seats, and excer-saucer. What do you think it is? Do you think I am just to emotionally tied to these little bits of memory's still?

I guess the good thing is that there aren't a lot of them. There are only 4 large storage bins of these clothes so for now I don't see a huge problem holding onto them until it isn't so painful to say goodbye to those memory's with my mom. Or maybe there might be another little angel needing to come to this family? Who knows, all I know is that for now it is just to painful to say goodbye to those little memory's.

Where did the Holy Ghost go?

2010-06-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

I really knocked the ball out of the park tonight for FHE. We did Lehi's dream and the girls helped create parts of the dream. Paige drew the big and spacious building, Taylor drew the water and I drew the tree of life. My tree of life had skittles on it for the delicious fruit When the girls got to the tree of life they got to partake of the fruit.

That's not what my post is about. My post is about the testimony's we bore at the end of FHE. Mine good, Paige's much better then mom breaking the Sabbath, and Taylor's, well I'd like to share verbatim.

Taylor's testimony: "I know Jesus is true and that Heavenly Father made our bodies with skin and bones. I know the Holy Ghost helps us and he went to jail and he didn't like it." At that point I had to intervene.

Taylor

2010-06-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

So I have two things to share and still need to blog about Paige's birthday. I will get to that.

First, Taylor began riding her bike without training wheels on Saturday. Took them off and there she went. She mastered it her first time! We are happy for her new found freedom!

Second, I sang at a baptism yesterday. Well when it was over I left and had only brought Paige and Taylor. While driving home I decided to fish for a compliment from my girls. WRONG choice. Lol I asked the girls if I sounded good. They both said yes. Then I said, "did I sound good or just okay?" At which point my very musically inclined Taylor, mind you she loves to sit and watch orchestra's on tv., says "just okay". LOL LOL Then Paige quickly realizes what Taylor may have just done and says, "no mom it was really good." Taylor dead serious looks at Paige and says, "no it wasn't Paige it was okay." NOW this didn't bruise my ego much because I thought that Taylor surely doesn't know the difference between good and okay.

So at dinner I made homemade mac and cheese. It was really amazing. Both girls without solicitation said, "Mom this is sooooo good." I decided to seize my chance and promptly said to Taylor, "Taylor is it good or okay?" She then says emphatically, "REALLY GOOD". So in fact she does know the difference...

LOL LOL

Funny Story

2010-05-30T22:31:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of posts I need to catch up on namely Paige's birthday but that takes awhile so I will share a cute conversation I had with Paige yesterday. I turned on a 3o minute Magic School Buss Cartoon for the girls yesterday while I was getting ready for a couple of friends to come over for a BBQ. Towards the end of the show, we find out that the Salmon swims up stream to lay it's eggs and then the male salmon fertilizes the eggs to make them turn into fish. As it came to a conclusion Paige says to me, "Did Dad fertilize us?"

How would you answer that? Between the fits of nervous laughter that I had I simply said yes. She didn't ask how so this morning her daddy decided to ask her how she thought it happened. Her answer, through the belly button with a magic pen. Jeremy's response, "That is exactly correct." I just about died.

advice needed

2010-04-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever had a clepto for a child? How long did it last and did you do anything inparticular that made it stop? Or were you that child? My sweet little Taylor is and we have tried so many things. We always make her give it back but she keeps doing it.

Testimony

2010-04-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

Today it was our ward's testimony. Paige asked if she could bear her testimony. I said yes of course. Well if you weren't in our Ward today I would like to share with you.

"I'd like to bear my testimony. My mom goes to the store every Sunday. Today she didn't and I feel really happy about it. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen."

'nough said.

Outbursts

2010-04-19T17:01:00.000-07:00

So yesterday on the way home from church, Taylor announced that Jesus didn't follow Satan. She then say's, "I'm going to stop following Satan too mama."

Then today in her parent/child book club we were picking out words that start with the letter m. It took Taylor awhile to think of one and then she bursts out, "My mom has a tiny tiny mustache. M mustache."

=) Gee I guess I don't take as good of care of it as I thought I did.

Taylor is 5!

2010-04-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrated Taylor's birthday. I will always remember with such clarity the first time I held Taylor when she came out. Her eyes wide open and smiling. She loves it when I tell this story of how when she came out I looked in her eyes and she had a special sparkle. She really did and that pretty much describes Taylor. She is one of the most charismatic and generous people you will ever meet.

At this time in her life she is enjoying learning to read, coloring, riding her scooter and bike, going to school, singing, doing puzzles, writing letters, scribbling in a note book, and playing with Sarah.

I cannot believe it has already been 5 years. I wish I would have slowed down a bit to really enjoy her and written down all the funny things she has said. One of my favorites was when we were all cuddling in the bed one morning, she felt her daddy's chest and called his nipples, boodada's. Oh the fits of laughter this girl has brought into our lives and into many. She is one of the funniest kids you will ever meet. She is my lover girl and I am so thankful that she was sent to us. Our family just wouldn't be complete without her!

Easter

2010-04-04T22:36:00.000-07:00

I didn't take any pictures this year of Easter only video. We didn't dress up in our pretty dresses either as this year Easter fell on our church's general conference so church was at home. I will take pictures of my matching girls next Sunday though. Our family easter egg hunt was in a room at the church since it was too cold and wet outside. It is funny to watch my brother's hide eggs. My brother Kelly hides a couple, shakes the bag vigorously to create eggs that are no longer hide-able, and then dumps the rest of the eggs in the middle of the floor. Basically Todd does the same thing but he just taxes his kids easter baskets instead of creating eggs which are now broken. Paige really showed her wit this year when, after the hunt, her Uncle Kelly sweetly called her over. As she neared him something went off in her brain and she said just a minute. She then walked clear around him, put her Easter basket on a table far away from him and then walked over to him. Oh what laughter filled the room! She knew exactly what was going to happen if she took that easter basket near him. If we move to Arizona how I will miss my family. Our humor really is one of a kind and I so love it.

(I don't want to do two posts so I will just make one really long one.)

So many of you know that I was a lonely widow for a month and my J has now been back for 5 days. Well tonight my brother called me to ask me a favor and then asked if we had had Easter dinner yet. I said, no, this was at 5:30, and he asked if we were going to and I said, "I don't know." He was a bit perplexed and then proceeded to ask why. At this point I was trying very hard to focus on my conversation with him but was very distracted and said, "Well we have been playing jacks with the girls and right now we are all trying to get the jacks spinning at the same time." At this point he began to laugh and said, "Is it nice having J at home?" I of course said yes and then he laughed and said, "well get down with yourselves then talk to you later." I am not sure if there was an invitation in this conversation or what but what I am sure of was that my brother noticed a considerable change in my demeanor now that Jeremy is back. I think that it was probably the fact that I am way more relaxed now that I have extra help again.

Neither the man without the woman nor the woman without the man. (That is pretty impressive coming from my mouth since I am a very independent woman. I mean I get the man without the woman part... :)

Family is forever

2010-03-31T20:00:00.000-07:00

All are safely gathered in. It's so nice to be reunited as a family again. A month is too long!

The boy is back in town....

2010-03-29T10:43:00.000-07:00

Well almost. Jeremy will be back on Wednesday and we CAN'T wait. This has been the longest month of my life! I'm lucky I live near great friends and my wonderful family. I think my girls are excited for mom to get a break as well!

Food Revolution

2010-03-27T10:16:00.000-07:00

So I was watching the new show on ABC with one of my favorite chefs, Jamie Oliver. The premise of the show is to change the way America eats, less processed food and more fresh food. It reminded me of a devotional at Ricks given by Elder Perry which I thought was completely wacko. Basically Elder Perry encouraged us to cook like our mothers did, to stop using pre-made food and make things from scratch. I thought at the time, "weird devotional this has absolutely nothing to do with me spiritually." Well in fact I was wrong and he was very inspired, OF COURSE, and again a general authority ahead of the times.

It is no secret that processed food is killing america. I will say for myself that I feed my family pretty well when I prepare food. My kids don't get a lot of crackers for snacks, and I cook very few food items from a box and so on and so on. For example my kids have fruit or veggies with either yogurt or cheese for a snack, my breakfasts are always complete even if it is cold cereal because the cereal is rarely a sugar cereal, not even honey nut cheerios, and we eat a very complete dinner; main course, salad with a lot of veggies, a fruit, and a cooked vegetable.

I sound like a dream home maker right? WRONG.... there is still one major issue I hate to cook! (The problem is I don't cook more then 4-5 times a week for dinner because... I hate too)

I have been inspired by the t.v. show to cook with my children. So the food revolution in our home is to cook with our kids by: Having them help me with the menu, going grocery shopping together, and finally they will begin to prepare most of the food with my help of course. I know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal but I think it is huge.

So we kick off the Riley family Food Revolution today with the menu and shopping and the picnic we will have tonight! Think I can do it???? We don't have any other choice if I want my kids to grow up eating healthy like I did because right now they are learning my lazy habits as opposed to the good ones.

Much better today..

2010-03-11T10:16:00.000-08:00

So yesterday was a little bit of a rough day for me emotionally. Could you tell? lol Today is better and there are two reasons.

Last night as I was all tucked into watch my Bravo shows and feeling grumpy, two sisters from my ward showed up with a good old fashioned comfort bag full of goodies! It was so nice that they also entitled the card, "Mrs. Joan Crawford", as I had previously asked. This little outpouring was all that I needed as I now at this point had someone to have a fun conversation with instead of child talk. That little gesture seemed to make all the difference.

The second reason is because Jeremy's dad reached out to him yesterday. I am not sure how many people know that the reason I have been alone for the last week and a half is because my father in law fell from about ten feet up in the air landing head first onto concrete. With all the medical drama that ensues after a brain injury we continue to hold out hope for the little things and yesterday Jeremy had a special moment and today it has brightened my day as I think about it.

tony has been unresponsive since surgery on Monday. Yet yesterday when Jeremy walked into the room, Tony lifted his arm and reached for J and then was totally unresponsive again. He hasn't done that for anyone else so I feel that this was very special. I have a couple of theories as to why. I think that one major reason is that J is Tony's first born and the bond between parent and child is quite stronger then any other earthly bond. We have to work at loving our spouse, our children we love completely and wholly without restraint. As I have thought about this it has brought so much joy to my heart. Maybe it doesn't seem like much to most but for me it is the glimmer of hope I have been looking for and that is an answer to my prayers.

I always feel much better when I recognize the hand of my Father in heaven.

Negative Nelly

2010-03-10T13:43:00.000-08:00

I am sick of happy everything lately. Especially those people chronicling their exercise progress and weight loss. It's annoying and I don't care!!!!! Seriously good for you, I celebrate your drive and all the success you are having but stop telling me about it because well, I can't find the time right now to do it myself so I am frankly jealous. Besides that I don't just need to exercise, I need to quit drinking soda if I ever want to be a size 2 again. Why all the negativity you ask? I will tell you

Here are the reasons:

I have a sick house that doesn't seem to want to get better this winter and I am blaming myself.

My bathrooms aren't as clean as I would like.

I am unable to go anywhere due to the sickness being freaking pneumonia.

Basically when I look in the mirror I see Joan Crawford 90% of the time.

I have been alone for a week and looking to be alone for another week at the least.

And to top it all off, (Anyone know what could make this alcoholic more grumpy???) YUP I decided to go cold turkey on the soda and it started today. I can't stop thinking about just hopping in my car to go get one, just one. I am obsessing in my mind. Some of you may not understand this and that is okay because I am admitting that I am an addict. At this point I would justify selling one of my children for a soda yes just one perfect little soda that is fizzy and burns as it goes down my throat. I don't even need to drink it in the shower to have my fix....

So basically... I can't wait to watch my bravo shows tonight because well I am a Bravo whore and I love all their reality shows..... It will just be soda-less so I am not sure how much I will be able to really enjoy it.

TMI

2010-02-25T23:17:00.000-08:00

At dinner tonight, Paige began saying, "oh crust I love crust, i need some more crust because it has wheat in it." Jeremy and I looked at each other quite perplexed and then I figure out what she means. BUT... not in time to stop Taylor from piping in and telling Paige as seriously and kindly as she could, "I have some crust for you. It's in my butt, oh wait no it's in my panties." At which point I just about spit out my food and Jeremy turned bright red with water and food dripping out of his mouth.

Oh never a dull moment in the Riley house hold.

The Flu

2010-02-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

I cannot truly remember the last time I had the flu. Well it hit me yesterday morning like a ton of bricks. The point in me sharing this is that death looked so appealing as I threw up in the toilet for the sixth time and it was so violent that it splashed back up in my face.

You're welcome for the little visual. I figure what are friends for? We are supposed to bear one another's burdens together right? Well there you go think of that for a day and when you need to throw up and all you have left is the bile in your stomach. Think of sweet, dear, nicole's bile splashing her in the face.

Have a great day while I bask in my flu ridden house.

Paige

2010-02-16T21:59:00.001-08:00

I know that most people will understand what I mean when I say that there is something so very special about the first child. Well Paige is no exception.

Tonight I was reminded of Paige's sweet character when she came into me while I was giving Sarah a bath. She was breathing quite heavily and I asked her what was wrong. She began to tell me, "Well I was trying to help Taylor." I was very curious as Taylor was supposed to be asleep in bed but had fallen asleep in the middle of the floor instead. So I asked Paige what she was trying to do to help her. Her response, "Well I was trying to scoot her over to her bed and put her in it." Now you must realize how very little Paige is. Taylor weighs the same as Paige and is just about as tall as her. As I came out of the bathroom and went near the girls room there was Taylor, previously uncovered in the middle of the doorway asleep on the floor. Now she had a pillow under her head and a stuffed animal under her arm and her blankets gently placed on her.

Oh my sweet intuitive, valiant Paige. If you truly know you her you love her. One day her sisters will understand as my Aunts do of my mom and I do of my brother Todd, the importance of the oldest sibling. They will one day refer to her as the kindest person they know because, well she is.

Mom

2010-02-11T23:01:00.000-08:00

I miss her!

Confessions

2010-01-23T21:02:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make. I have the easiest baby in the entire world. This baby used to cry so quiet that the only way we knew she was crying was by looking at her face. Since then she has developed her mad, I want my mama to pick me up cry but when she is really upset, it is still the silent wide open mouth. You can ask my girlfriends who often hold her for just a second while I either run to the bathroom or do a quick something. One of my favorite things she does is smile at people so sheepishly and then turn into my chest. I have always wanted a baby like that.

One really great thing is if I get Sarah just tired enough and her belly is full and her diaper changed, I can lay her down swaddled in her crib and she will hardly make a peep. Sometimes she still wants me to hold her so she will squawk for a moment but within a few minutes she is sound asleep. She has done this since she came out. It doesn't help her sleep through the night yet but it is really nice to not have to rock her and I figure if we keep this up, she will sleep through the night soon enough without the long nights of crying it out!

She really is a dream baby the only down side, she doesn't like anyone but her mama to hold her. Daddy will suffice but that is only for a little bit!

Ah another mama's girl!

More pics

2010-01-18T17:11:00.001-08:00

Fun Pics!

2010-01-18T16:54:00.000-08:00

Just have some new fun photos I want to share. The baby is dirty but I couldn't resist snapping some pics with her right as I was feeding her. I was having a hard time feeding her because she kept putting her toes in her mouth! So sad we didn't take any pictures of Christmas only video! We had a wonderful Christmas though! More to come!

Moving

2010-01-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

You know the worst part of moving? It's realizing that the world keeps moving even when you've left. While you are struggling to meet new people and find the same comforts of old, everyone you left behind keeps on moving. It's just like death, people are sad for awhile and then life keeps moving and so do we....

It's nothing to be sad about really.... it's just the way it is.

Paige

2010-01-04T21:41:00.000-08:00

So I need to brag for just a moment. We went to the library today after school. After talking with Paige's teacher this morning and informing her that Paige had read 2 chapter books in three days over the break, she asked me if it was a Junie B. Jones book. I told her no and she said she was wondering if she needed to do a DRA, developmental reading assessment on her. Then she said she would do one anyway since she will be leaving at the end of the month. So I was curious and decided to take Paige to the library to check out a Junie B. Jones book. I showed Paige and suggested she check it out. She refused and then I told her to read the first three pages and if at the end of those she didn't like it then she cold put it back. By the end of the three paiges she was in fits of laughter and did indeed decide to check out the book. So the point of this story... Paige read the entire book in about three hours today. The book is 68 pages long with 9 chapters. i am anxious to see where she is at after her assessment. May not seem like a lot to us adults but for a 1st grader, I say pretty impressive!

I'm pretty proud of that little girl! Can ya tell???

Paige's Christmas Program

2009-12-16T20:57:00.000-08:00

Oh boy what a little ham! Enjoy the video!

It's been awhile...

2009-12-16T20:41:00.000-08:00

Here are some photos from, soccer, Halloween and getting our Christmas Tree. To solve any confusion, Paige is the girl Vampire, her choosing, and Taylor is Sleeping beauty! Enjoy!

We are moving!

2009-12-03T10:24:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving was wonderful and our trip to spend time with my Dad in San Jose was awesome! Good family time with all.

Okay now for the news that brought you to my blog...

I am pleased to announce that Jeremy has accepted a new position as CTO(Chief Technology Officer) for Summit Projects. Jeremy is really excited for this new opportunity and for all the possibilities it will give his career. I am happy for him and know he will do great. This new job means we are MOVING! Yes the Riley's will be leaving little Utah, our home for the last 5 years, to move to a small town of 7000 people, Hood River, OR.

Some interesting facts about Hood River, it is the wind surfing capital of the world and boasts some of the best apples, pears, and cherry's. It is an hour away from Portland and about 1 hour and 15 min from our current house. I guess this quaint little town only has one ward, three schools, and a really fun little down town.

Okay now that I got the positive out of the way let's talk. I am so excited at the possibility of living in a rural area with land for my girls to play on. The only problem, is that we can't find somewhere nice with a reasonable rent. See we will be carrying our current mortgage and a rent out there so we need to find something reasonable yet not a complete dump.

Also my shopping perspectives, uh Walmart (it doesn't have a grocery store and it is really small) and Safeway. Oh I am sorry I forgot about Payless shoes. Now I am not opposed to these stores except Safeway because it is so much more expensive then Fred Meyer and Winco. Also there is no Target or Costco. Gap is about 50 minutes away but at least it's in an outlet mall. Now lets be clear, I am not a big shopper but I like having variety and being able to just walk around a store and look at things.

And now for the biggest heartbreak. I am leaving my family, my brothers currently are only 5 to 10 minutes away, and I am leaving some really good friends behind who I just love to get together with, I mean I really love them. Also my best-friend will be moving back when she gets pregnant and I want to be here to watch help her with her baby. Last night at Enrichment it hit me hard as I looked around at all the faces I have become accustomed to for the last 5 years. There are a lot of people in this current ward that I am really fond of and love.

This will be our first big move as a family. I am excited for this adventure with Jeremy and the girls but will miss home so much. Current plan is to come to Portland at least once a week, we will see how that goes but there will still have to be girls night at least once a month.

Here's to new beginnings!

Daughters

2009-11-09T12:59:00.000-08:00

I noticed today that an old friend posted on facebook, "I am grateful for the opportunity to raise a daughter." This struck me very hard. I often joke about the fact that I have 3 girls and that I am not excited about the teenage years with menstrual cycles, prom dresses, clothes, and just the hormones of a teenage girl. All day I have been thinking about what this post means and for me it means a whole lot.

I have three beautiful little girls. Right now I am able to see them for who they are perfectly. It seems that children show us their true individual natures and worth at a very young age. For example, if you know Paige then it is easy to see that she is a very kind, loving, intuitive, stalwart, and gentle person. Taylor is outgoing, tender, generous, determined, and protective. Sarah we can already see that she has a peaceful and calm nature. Why is this important? I think it is important to me as a mother because in today's world, some of these attributes are not celebrated enough. We see girls portrayed in a very different manner then they were 20+ years ago. I am not talking about the idea that women are one dimensional and shouldn't have degrees and goals. I am talking more of the attributes the world celebrates. I believe that women can be successful without being course. I have a friend, Linsy, who I feel demonstrates this to a tee. From what I can tell she has never given up her poise or kindness to move ahead in life and yet from all aspects she is very successful.

So for me as a mother of three little princesses, "Daughters of a Heavenly King", I have the opportunity to raise them true to their divine natures and teach them how to be successful in life using their individual worth. I welcome this challenge and look forward to the day when I see each one of them enter the sealing room to see them sealed for time an all eternity. Come what may, their core will always be the same even though life may offer hardening circumstances. They will always be those same tender spirits Heavenly Father has sent here. My job lies in helping them to be happy with themselves and there in lies their personal confidence.

I love my girls so very much and want only eternal happiness for them. They have brought a joy into my life that I couldn't understand as a child. My mom always would say, "I love you so much, more than you can imagine until you have a little Nicole of your own." I don't have a little Nicole but I have a Paige, Taylor, and Sarah Elizabeth and they bring such a happiness that I could not imagine until I had them.

I am grateful for this opportunity to be their earthly mother.

Baby help!

2009-11-04T23:27:00.001-08:00

So to all my dear friends out there, please try to keep your mouths from hitting the floor when I tell you what I am about to tell you.

I am starting to put Sarah in her crib now. I know it's hard to believe as Paige and Taylor were never in the crib. In fact I didn't completely move them out of my bed until last January. Since they were about 1 years old I have started them off in their own bed but when they would wake up in the middle of the night it was SO much easier to get them to stay asleep longer in my bed.

So where is the help I need??? How did you keep your little baby's warm in the crib. Last night I went into Sarah and her little hands were cold. I don't want her cold and that will probably escalated her moving back into my bed sooner. So how did you keep them warm and with the blankets on them. I can lay Sarah down anywhere and if she is tired and not hungry or wet, she will kind of whimper for a minute or two and go to sleep. SHE IS A DREAM!!!!!! So help me with keeping her warm please. I tried to tuck in some blankets on top of her and am hoping that works!

So thanks in advance to your responses!

p.s. I have never had a baby monitor before. I got one because, like many of you have noticed, I cannot hear Sarah cry unless I am in the same room with her. So my point in telling you this. This machine is a dream. If I had had it with Taylor as a toddler, it would have prevented, so many things because I can hear a pin drop with it. If I am upstairs and it is down, I can still hear the slightest thing. For example I heard Taylor in another room from the baby, getting into my bathroom drawers. Catastrophe averted! I only spent 17$ on it too! Oh the simple pleasures in life!

Swine Flu Survival Kit

2009-10-22T15:54:00.000-07:00

I just want to thank my dear friend Heidi for showing up with an unexpected treat. She arrived at my door with this great gift and said, "I know you must be going crazy so I put together this Swine Flu Survival kit for you. Tender Mercies are everywhere aren't they? I am really grateful for good friends who are here to love and support us. I miss our friends far away and am grateful for the ones close by! What a wonderful act of friendship. Thank you Heidi!!!!!

Sarah Elizabeth is growing

2009-10-15T09:12:00.000-07:00

It seems like in just the last few days Sarah is changing ever so rapidly. Yesterday she began to roll over onto one side and laugh. It was a tiny giggle but oh man was it delicious to the ears! I got the laugh by nibbling on her tummy. I am surprised she felt anything through her mounds and mounds of flesh! Maybe that is why it tickled, she could barely feel it.

Oh how I love babies! I must say I had nightmares about the 3rd but so far AMAZING and I love having three girls. Their bond is so very apparent even now! Don't ask me in 10 years when they are teenagers. I may start saving for boarding school now!

Laundry

2009-10-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

Just wasting time putting off the MOUNDS of laundry I need to fold. Anyone else have this problem?

p.s. I want to hire an illegal alien to do my laundry.

Taylor's prayer over the food this morning. p.s. there was nothing to do with prayer in it.

2009-10-08T08:03:00.001-07:00

"Dear Heavenly father, thankful that I won't give mama a hug this morning. Thankful I won't miss her at school. Thankful that I will never draw her another picture again. In the name of um Jesus Christ Amen."

P's prayer

2009-10-04T21:39:00.001-07:00

Paige's personal prayer tonight, "Please bless that I will stop thinking about the komodo dragon. It really freaks me out!"

Sunday's Lesson

2009-09-27T22:59:00.000-07:00

So my lesson this month was on adversity and weathering it well. This quote is from President Eyring's talk. Hope you feel strengthened when you read this, I sure did.

"My purpose is to assure you that our Heavenly Father and the Savior live and that They love all humanity. The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of Their infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks, and thus be prepared for the trust of an endless posterity to teach and to lead through tests to be raised up to qualify to live forever in eternal life.

It is clear that for us to have that gift and to be given that trust, we must be transformed through making righteous choices where that is hard to do. We are prepared for so great a trust by passing through trying and testing experiences in mortality. That education can come only as we are subject to trials while serving God and others for Him." (President Eyring)

Sarah Elizabeth

2009-09-21T09:22:00.001-07:00

So my little one is growing so fast. It is hard to believe that she was early and weighed only 5lbs and is GINORMOUS now. Here are so fun pics! She is a really calm baby. Everyone comments on how calm she is. I don't know if she will stay that way but for now she is very easy and very calm! I love her so much!

Sunday

2009-09-13T20:45:00.001-07:00

Today was possibly the worst Sunday of my life. The entire morning was spent with Taylor throwing ruddy bloody fits which created a tense atmosphere in which Jeremy and I then got irritated with each other. We were an hour late to church, after church we were hungry and just grouchy with each other and not until after we ate did the mood soften up a bit. Paige was the calm in the storm! So thankful for her peaceful little spirit.

I don't ever remember having a Sunday like this in my life ever. I hardly feel uplifted and edified. To make it better, the girls and I sang primary songs for about an hour. That really helped me and reminded me of when I used to stand at the piano and sing while my mom played.

I am keeping my spirits up by thinking, "this too shall pass."

ahhhhhhhhh..... Next Sunday shall be better!

First Day of School

2009-09-11T14:28:00.001-07:00

So Paige entered 1st grade this year! Wow what a change and I am not sure she likes it that much either. First grade is sure different then Kindergarten. So far so good. Taylor entered the pre-K program at Paige's school and is in love. She loves walking to class and pretty much has the attitude, "don't let the door hit you on your way out mom." We knew it would be this way! Enjoy the pictures and notice the backpacks. They picked all by themselves. LOL

The first pictures are of Taylor's 1st day. Taylor started on the second day.

Meet the teacher!

2009-09-04T10:23:00.000-07:00

So we went to the school last night to meet the teachers for the girls last night. It was overall a good experience. I think I like both of the teachers a lot. The classrooms are well organized and clean which is super important to me.

What I took from the experience is that I need to work with Taylor in the next 5 days on waiting her turn and saying excuse me when she wants to say something. She kept following the teacher around saying, "teacher". So we talked last night and encouraged her to say, "Mrs. Hatch". She is so excited. Paige loved her teacher and felt like she was just like Mrs. Scott, her Kinder teacher last year.

I am excited for my girls but every time I think about dropping them both off on their first day, I cry. I tear up mainly about Paige because it is a reality that she will be out of my grasp for 7 hours in a day. I won't be able to be there when her feelings get hurt, she gets frustrated with her work(probably a good thing. I'm not the most patient when it comes to teaching.) , she just needs reassurance, or heaven forbid someone physically hurts her. These are all a reality of life but I am not ready to let them happen without my control of the situation in some way. I guess at this point it doesn't matter if I am ready for them or not, She is!

Buying Snacks for the school

2009-09-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

So I had the girls school supplies bought by middle of August. The only thing I didn't have was something I find kind of ridiculous. I have to buy, specifically, "Two COSTCO sized snacks" to share with the whole class.

I don't know, I think it is a bit ridiculous when we supply breakfast and lunch to the kids all through the summer but now I have to buy snacks for the whole class. I don't understand the need for it and well quite frankly I think it is a little bit presumptuous. I think that the school should be supplying that. I have to supply everything else in the dang classroom.

What does everyone else think?

p.s. If that man in Georgia would have hit my kid... (well I probably only would have slapped him back but mind you I would have instictively slapped him back.) MOTHER OF THE YEAR! lol

Sarah Elizabeth

2009-08-24T14:48:00.001-07:00

So to start thing off I am going to blog about Sarah Elizabeth and the things that have happened in her short little life.

On July 26th we blessed her. It was the most beautiful blessing I have ever heard and not because it was for my daughter but because of the things that Jeremy blessed her with. He blessed her with love, compassion, and kindness. Also to be forgiving and to put healthy thing in her body. He blessed her with a knowledge of love and with a knowledge of the impact she will have on the people around her. During the blessing he kept calling her Sarah so that is what we will call her. Jeremy calls her Sarah Elizabeth and I do sometimes as well but mainly the girls and I call her Sarah. She truly is a little princess in our family.

So our little Sarah was born on June 24th weighing in at 5 lbs even and 17 3/4 inches long. Well our petite beauty has turned into quite a robust beauty. At a 6 week check she weighed 9 lbs. 8 ounces and was already 22 1/2 inches long. She is quite the eater. She is a very good baby. For those of you who talked to me a lot during pregnancy you knew that my biggest fear was having a hard baby. Sarah Elizabeth is anything but that. She has a very sweet spirit and I am so grateful that she came to us. She has the daintiest cry I have ever heard and it really is quite pathetic. She sounds like a little lamb but a very quite little lamb. When she gets really upset then she gives it the good old cry but that isn't to often! The girls adore her and are fantastic big sisters. Speaking of sisters I met my little sister for the first time the weekend we blessed Sarah. I will make a separate post about that.

We are now getting ready for school to start and I am anxious to see if I can do a regular routine. I will start next week preparing for school and think that it may be a bit tricky but Sarah is in a bit of a good routine now that if I just get up early enough, like right after her morning feeding, I should be able to have the girls out the door on time with happy little hearts and full bellies. I am anxious for the girls to actually be learning again. The summer has made them a little slower especially since the baby came so early I didn't have a lot of time to do the reading logs, and math stuff I wanted. I have let a lot go this summer but am okay with it. In the big scheme of things the girls won't remember and more importantly I have been able to be okay with it which is a big deal. When school starts the real work will begin but at least my baby won't be so brand new!

All in all the Riley's are good and happy! We hope you are too!

Things are looking up!

2009-07-25T01:58:00.000-07:00

A lot of people have been asking how I am doing in light of my last post. Good news, things are looking up. See I think there is a common misconception that I have this need to have my house clean for others. The reality is that i need it clean for me. I cannot function or feel productive in a messy house. It's just part of my genetic make up.

I am noticing my older girls are really starting to act out. I didn't think this would be a problem but I realized that when you add a newborn to any situation it is tough on everyone. My only concern now is making time for my older girls. It is something that I am finding hard to do. Will they survive yes but I want them to survive and succeed. Well and also I don't want to put a lot of money into a savings account just for counseling which i am pretty sure they are going to need.

I love my little family and feel so blessed to have them in my life. A newborn does make life more difficult but it also really brings a sweet spirit into a home and family. Straight from heaven they come and into our arms! I love my little girls so much and my husband, what a keeper! He has really stepped up to the plate in so many ways!

No telling how tomorrow will go since we are both still up, him painting me blogging. lol Tomorrow I meet my little sister for the first time! I am so excited!!

Back to work

2009-07-13T21:25:00.000-07:00

So today was Jay's first day back to work. Oy vey!!! I think we had breakfast at 10, bath's by 12:30, lunch at 1 dinner at 5:30, tv dinners, and a movie for FHE. Girls fell asleep to me reading stories at 9:30. no baths just faces washed, hair brushed along with teeth, and prayer and scripture while they were sleeping.

I think I will chart my successes and overall today was a bit of a success.

Tomorrow I need to clean the house but maybe I will call a maid's service. No seriously I am thinking about doing it only with the promise that I won't clean before they come which I personally think is a high possibility.

A Tad Dramatic?

2009-07-10T17:40:00.000-07:00

So today I told the girls to clean up their room. Usually this is a once a day project and we complete it fairly regularly. Well with the baby this has become a little harder to patrol so today I told the girls to clean up their room. They asked for help and I said, "get started and I will come check in 5 minutes. If you have made progress then I will help. If you are sitting there arguing or just reading books then I will vacuum up what I can and throw away the rest." After a warning and then finding pictures of my sealing folded up and made into 'scriptures', I grabbed a garbage bag and told the girls they better hope they can move quicker then I can. They just sat there with big looks on their faces and I tossed half a garbage bag of barbies, my little pony, and other miscellaneous toys away.

They handled it pretty well. I on the other hand feel horrible since some of the stuff was Paige's new stuff she got for her birthday. I don't think they will have such a hard time cleaning up next time.

Feeling better/different....

2009-07-09T21:13:00.000-07:00

So the baby blues seem to be fleeting. I now have feelings of guilt as I find my patience for my children basically null and void. I think I can chalk that up to sleep deprivation though. I must say lately I have been really wishing that i had had the kids all 2 years a part. I waited after Taylor because two seemed so difficult. Three has yet to prove to be this momentous task BUT I feel as if I am not giving my girls all the attention they need and deserve both emotionally and academically. I think there have been days these last two weeks in which the girls have watched maybe 4 hours of TV. I guess i just feel bad because I had these schedules for them for the summer all ready to go and then the baby came a week after we started them and now the schedules are shot to hell. The one thing that keeps me sane is knowing that in about a month and certainly by the time school starts we will be somewhat on a normal schedule and this short period of time will HOPEFULLY have done little to damage them.

I must say the girls are everything I hoped they would be with the baby. I knew that Taylor would poke and prod her to see how she works and Paige would just tenderly love and hold her. I under estimated how difficult managing their enthusiasm would be. The baby has been kicked in the head, almost dropped, and smothered all by two little girls who just love her more then life itself. While not wanting to damage this new love in their life, I still find myself telling the girls more then I had planned to, "be careful, settle down, Taylor stop singing so loud" the best yet is, "stop touching her."

Elle is such a little lover. So far she has proved to be a really good baby and is growing rapidly. At her two week appointment she was already 6lbs. We love her and feel so complete with her in our lives.

Motherhood as always is a daunting task and experience but I really wouldn't change it for the world. I would just change myself.

Okay really must go the milk is letting down and it hurts like heck!

Baby blues--Help!!!!

2009-06-30T13:45:00.000-07:00

Okay so I am reaching out to all of you for a little help. Since I came home from the hospital, I have been feeling really sad, happy, irritated, and an assortment of different emotions. I begin to cry for no reason and then I find a reason to be crying. (It kind of makes me feel better if I pick a reason to cry, lol.) So obviously this sounds like the baby blues but I have never had this problem after birth before. Another thing that is happening is that when I nurse the baby or pump, I get REALLY sad almost instantaneously at latching.

So here is my question, has anyone else ever gone through this and how long did it last. I am particularly interested in the sadness when latching portion. So enlighten me, help me understand how it affected you, if it affected you!

Thanks to you all!

Sarah Elizabeth Riley

2009-06-27T09:22:00.001-07:00

Here are just a couple pics of Elizabeth. Hopefully we will put more on soon!

Our New baby

2009-06-24T22:32:00.000-07:00

Our newest little edition was born today at 1:41 p.m today June 24th. She came in weighing a wopping 5 lbs even and 17 3/4 inches long. What a little blessing she is to us. We have named her Sarah Elizabeth. Jeremy has already nicknamed her, Ellie. We are so excited and will post pictures soon!

Taylor's prayer

2009-06-22T23:33:00.000-07:00

It was Taylor's turn to say family prayer tonight. In the middle of the prayer we got to daddy and this is what she prayed for. "Please bless that daddy will have lots of fun at work tomorrow. Please bless that he won't punch his friends in the eye. Please bless that daddy he won't punch his friends in the face."

Needless to say we just about lost all reverence at that point.

36 weeks

2009-06-16T03:47:00.000-07:00

So 36 weeks and finally hit the 20lb weight gain and my stomach grew 3 inches to catch up to right about where I should be. I found out at the dr. today that I gained 4 lbs and 3 inches in my stomach in just about 2 weeks. After weeping I actually was kind glad that she was getting a little bigger though my shirts don't fit and now I know why. I thought I had shrunk them in the dryer.

I am getting very excited to hold our little one and so our my girls. It's getting exciting and nerve racking. I am up right now resisting the urge to start cleaning because of the time, 3:48 a.m. I know that tomorrow morning will be filled with lots of cleaning tasks because I just have the itch at this point and feel that I want to be ready for whatever lies ahead. Everything is washed, my bag is packed, the baby's bag is packed but the girls bags aren't yet. I will put that on my list of to do's for tomorrow and then I will wait patiently for 4 weeks for my little one to arrive. I wonder what pet name she will have. Paige is sunshine, Taylor little one, baby.... I don't know yet.

Taylor starts ballet tomorrow so I will post pictures of her. We also started a summer learning program with the girls. They pick a subject each week that they want to learn about and then we check out books at the library to read about it and we will do some activities to go along. This week it is killer whales. LOL I think this will be relatively easy to do until the baby comes and then after whoever is here to help can help the girls get books at the library for their other subjects because mom won't be going out much with baby. I don't know maybe this time will have to be different. Ah the anticipation of the new arrival! Maybe I can try and lay down again. Hopefully sleep will come easily at this point. LOL

Holy Ghost

2009-06-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

So today we were driving and we were talking about death a little because a family in our ward recently lost their teenage son.

So both girls told me that they wished that their gramie was still alive. I agreed with them and then Paige says, "well gramie is still alive. Her spirit is still alive but her body is dead." I thought, "yah me!!!" I must have done a good job explaining what happens to our bodys when we die and what it means to be ressurected. So I told Paige she was right and then she says and this is a killer, "when our spirit dies we become a Holy Ghost." Need I say more? LOL

Maybe we will talk about the Holy Ghost for FHE on Monday.

Dr.s appt.

2009-06-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

So today I took Taylor in for her 4 year check up knowing that she would get shots. I decided to prepare her and be totally upfront. I had little concern knowing that when she got her ears pierced she didn't cry. WELL Taylor was excited for her shots. She was so excited that when she walked in she asked the nurse if she was going to give her shots and all through the exam kept telling the dr. she was ready for her shots! So she keeps saying to me, "Mom tell the dr. I want my shots." I had to keep reminding her it would be at the end.

So then they bring in the shots. The first one she starts crying and throughout the rest she keeps crying. Well in our home shot day is treat day so I reminded her how brave she was being and that we would get a treat. As she left, she stops in the door, looks up at me with one hand on her hip with a look of utter shock and disgust and says, " Mom, I told you to tell the dr. no shots!" LOL I just about died.

So another part to this dr.'s experience was Paige. Paige was so excited for Taylor to get her shots as well. It was in a, "you will cry and I can't wait to see it because you said you won't" kind of way. So then the lady walks over to Taylor and I. Paige is sitting next to me and Taylor. As the lady goes to pull out the first shot Paige's face goes white, she hops off her chair covering her ears and lands in a fetal position on the floor. She stayed that way until all the shots had been administered. That was almost the funniest part to me. I had a hard time not laughing while taylor was getting her shots. LOL

Oh the dr.'s office, I wonder why my kids are usually so excited to go???? LOL

6 weeks!

2009-06-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that I am just about 6 weeks away! The dr. says the baby is small, not abnormally just small! At this point I am loving washing the baby clothes washing everything down, and just the overall small of a new baby!

This weekend I am going to go buy a diaper bag, pacifier, and baby wash! I hope this baby isn't allergic to smell like Taylor. At least with Taylor I could use the Aveeno baby wash that has such a delicate light smell and it didn't make her breakout. I had to use the aveeno baby lotion with no scents though all over her body.

This is when it begins to get really exciting and really annoying. Right now I just can't wait. Today I will pack my bag for the hospital. Shouldn't need much since my baby's come so fast but a few items we will need!

I am just so excited! No names yet so if you want to send an idea or two feel free!

Dad

2009-05-26T20:32:00.000-07:00

So today I met my "dad" for the first time in my life ever. It was pretty awesome. The only problem, I seemed to be a little tongue tied. LOL Yup me tongue tied! LOL

BBQ

2009-05-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

So for dinner tonight we decided to do BBQ. Looks like we are going to be having 3 days of BBQ. YUM...

On our way home from the park, the girls were alrealdy whinning for food. Taylor began crying for salad with lots of vegtables in it. LOL How often do we hear that? The best part is when Taylor asks, "mom what is steakon made from?" You know bacon but steakon??? It was hilarious....

Apostasy

2009-05-21T17:17:00.001-07:00

Ever considered it? Not complete apostasy but just not going to your ward anymore? I have always been strong in the gospel but recent events have led me to reconsider my thoughts on attending all of church. I would never stop going to church just Relief Society. It's becoming more and more tempting especially when it's not really a sisterhood anymore. Man do I ever wish for my old calling... oh and friends that actually treat you like a real friend. At least I have a few that are always there....

Oh and fyi... it's not a pity party so i don't need a lot of reassuring comments.

Just a little bragging!

2009-05-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Today when I picked Paige up froms chool she had had a subsitute teacher for the day. It is the same sub they have had all year. Paige walked up to me with the sub, Mrs. Curry, and I thought uh oh. Well I was pleasantly surprised when Mrs. Curry said, "I just want to tell you what a pleasure and joy it has been for me to work with Paige this year. Every time I come their class, she is helpful, listens, and is always so kind." I told her thank you and that Paige is indeed a blessing in our family and that her tender heart is one of her best qualities. Mrs Curry told me, " she is going to do outstanding in 1st grade. She read to me today and it was just amazing."

I am really grateful for Paige's example. She truely has one of the most tender hearts of anyone I know and what a little card she is! I am grateful that her first year at school has gone so well.

I am also excited to hear the rave reviews of Taylor as she enters pre-school. No doubt her teacher is going to be smitten with her too! She is just so charismatic!

Happy Happy Birthday Paige Dear

2009-05-12T20:56:00.000-07:00

So on May 9th we celebrated Paige's 6th birthday. We were down in Grants Pass for the occassion so I couldn't post on that day but I didn't want her to go un-remembered so here it goes.

Paige is such a blessing to our family. She encompasses all that is tender and gentle in this world. Paige's nature is very sensitive, kind, and she is naturally very intuitive. If Paige doesn't like someone you can basically gaurantee that there is something wrong with them. I also enjoy the calming influence Paige is in our home. I often yell at the girls and Paige can't stand it and she reminds me every day. I am grateful for that because she reminds me of the Savior in her demenor. She is also very sensitive to other's needs and feelings. I watch her and though she isn't outwardly protective of Taylor, she is protective in a different way. she reaches to comfort her rather than to run to her defense.

The things Paige enjoys are;

Sounding things out

making up words with new sounds

reading

of course pretend

karate

soccer

rock singing

primary

prayer

flowers

cooking

picking up kids younger then her

and she is extremely excited for the new baby.

I am so excited for this baby to come mainly because i am excited to see how Paige interacts with the baby. I know that she is going to help so much and will love to hold her baby. Paige is a ray of light in our home and we wouldn't be the same family without her. We need her and love her! We are so thankful that she was sent to us!

Happy Birthday Sunshine!

Almost 30 weeks

2009-05-04T20:15:00.001-07:00

So I am never sure how to tell what week I am in but I am pretty sure that I am approaching 30 weeks and that scares me to death. I just realized that I have just a little over 2 months left and I still don't have my hospital bag packed, diapers bought, clothes washed and set up, the crib set up, and everything wiped down yet. Heck I don't even have half the stuff out of storage.

Panic mode set in today so I think I will make myself wait until after Jay and Paige's birthdays and then I will begin to plug away. The whole idea makes me a little nervous though. I don't like feeling unprepared and right now that's how I feel.

On a positive note, I cannot wait to hold my baby girl! A friend said today that baby's bring such a peace into a home and I couldn't agree more. My girls are really excited and today is the first time they have really gotten to see and feel the baby move. They both had different reactions to it. Paige just lit up and watched it more and kept her hand on my belly. Taylor immediately hopped up and started singing louder because she was sure the baby was dancing. I am grateful to know that the only problem I am really going to have with my girls and this baby is the sharing her and fighting over her. I would take that any day over jealousy! She is going to be such a blessing in our home and I am so excited to hold and kiss her all over!

Baby Belly's

2009-04-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

Okay so we all know how I don't pass my baby's around. This should come as no shock to anyone right? Well here's a new pet peeve I just thought of. People thinking that they have a right to touch my stomach just because I have a baby growing in it. Why the fascination? When I don't have a baby belly I don't see people coming up to me to feel my stomach so why then does the fact that I have a baby growing in my belly give some people the notion that it is okay to touch my stomach? My baby isn't public property and my body sure as hell isn't....

It's really one of the most annoying things about being pregnant. I don't mind my family, husband and kids, touching it but outside of that, oh and aunts and grandma's/mom; keep your hands off.

It's very aggravating for me.... I mean I don't mean my close friends but just people that have no claim, know what I mean????????

Mom's

2009-04-26T23:17:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about motherhood lately. It is such a hard job but seriously so rewarding. I love my children so much. I remember my mom saying to me all throughout my life, "I love you so much, more then you will ever know until you have a little Nicole of your own." Well I know what she means now and well, it makes me miss her and makes me miss the way I felt when I was around her.

I hope my children feel that same safety and peace.

Spring Weather

2009-04-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

So the first picture will be of the girls in their Easter dresses on Sunday. I was super sick on Easter Sunday so we didn't go to church that day. Easter overall for the girls was a bit of a bummer. They loved their Easter baskets but mom was just to sick to really enjoy the day. Hopefully it won't be the Easter they remember for the rest of their lives. LOL

The weather here has been beautiful Saturday through today. Yesterday the girls and I went to the park for several hours and began our summer "glow". Paige doesn't tan she is just to white and Taylor could probably get darker but we use SPF 500. LOL Today after Paige got home from school we had a picnic lunch outside and then I turned on the sprinklers for the girls. I'm not sure where my girls get their desire to pose but boy, they sure know how to do it! My favorite is of the girls together. Taylor is singing and Paige is posing! I love sunny weather and I love that the girls are water babies. It's nice that paige can swim on her own and that Taylor can as well. Enjoy! I know some of you haven't seen the girls for awhile!

Hood to Coast

2009-04-20T22:45:00.000-07:00

I've decided I am running the Hood to Coast next year with some girlfriends. That's all I have to say about that right now, no applause necessary. I still can't believe I am going to run for an extended period of time. I make myself wanna throw up! Who runs for no purpose other than to run? Apparently I am going to start after the baby is 6 weeks old. LOL The whole idea is just funny isn't it! LOL

p.s. The Taylors are forbidden from commenting on this post due to my last comment on theirs!

God's Character

2009-04-14T12:53:00.000-07:00

So Paige got home from school today and is being a little bit stinky. She and Taylor are fighting a lot so I just told them to go to their room and have quiet time on their beds with books. Paige looks at me and says in a semi loud, panicky voice, "Please no, give us another chance like God would."

Just 4 years old today!

2009-04-13T16:32:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday to our dear little Taylor. I remember so vividly the day Taylor was born. One of the things that sticks out the most in my mind was when the nurse handed her back to me. Taylor opened her eyes and looked right at me. When she did I could see her smiling in them. She was a happy baby and is such a happy kid!

That is one of the best ways to describe Taylor. She is charismatic, loveable, funny, and just a tad devious.(I may be understating this a little because it's her birthday.)

The things Taylor loves to do are:

Sing!!!!! At church we have few problems controlling Taylor. The only thing we have to remind her is to stop singing. She sings all the time! In the car, shower, just playing. I think its the first thing that pops into her mind

She loves to do puzzles

Read books

Play in the dirt!

Dance

Swim

Pretend she can read

And ride her bike

Color on walls and on her body and the latest!

cut her own hair!

I was thinking of all the funny "Taylorisims" to share with everyone but I really couldn't narrow any of them down. She is just so funny and comes up with some of the funniest things.

We love Taylor and appreciate all she brings into our family. She is the funnest little 4 year old I know!

Love

2009-04-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

So last night the girls were brushing their teeth so I decided to do it with them. Well we got this new toothpaste and it was so grouse. It was so grouse that it created a tickle in the back of my throat and I couldn't wash it away and it caused me to throw up. This is a first for me.

The story isn't about the throw up. The story is about what my girls did. When I started throwing up, they both ran over to me and Taylor started rubbing my back while Paige decided to hold my hair. They both sat there with me the entire time except when I could finally tell Paige that I needed a drink of water. She ran down stairs got a glass brought it back and then got a wash cloth to wash my face.

I was so touched that I had little girls right then and could picture myself older and them taking care of me. They were both so loving and tender.

Paige is furious... LOL

2009-04-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

So a quick note, seems like I have been posting a lot lately so anyway here's a quick story.

This morning I was taking Paige to school and we were a little earlier then normal. So when I drove in the parking lot I noticed Paige seemed a little melancholy. So I asked her what was up. She said nothing and I said something and she looked at me with this gloom look on her face and said, "Oh nothing I'm just furious that my birthday is coming up soon." Um...... Are we all on the same page? So I kind of laughed a little thinking she was just using the word wrong and then asked her why she was furious to see if she really knew what the word meant. She then tells me, "because I just don't know what you and daddy are going to get me for my birthday."

LOL

Baby Belly

2009-03-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

So I have been complaining an awful lot about my tummy and a lot of people don't understand why. This picture won't make it very clear either but please note that usually my stomach is pretty flat, I don't weigh much and my boobs after breastfeeding two babies have shrunk so the mere size of my "buddadas", as Taylor calls them, are GINORMOUS and they probably get in my way, way more then my stomach but it's all one big mess. Seriously ladies I am like a 34 DD right now which I was used to be before kids but now.... it's just uncomfortable..... So I am what 24 weeks right now??? This is what I look like.

Bedtime Stories

2009-03-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

So tonight we were putting the girls to bed and Paige was crying and crying. She kept saying she wanted to tell me something over and over again. Finally we got to the point, I am still not exactly sure what I said, but her feelings were hurt that I had apparently taken her daddy's side. Then she says to me, "How could you take Daddy's side? He didn't go to church when he was a little boy."

Kid's say the darndest things.

Husbands

2009-03-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

I am very thankful for my husband. We have been married 6 years now and I couldn't imagine what life would be like without him in it.

When we were first married I struggled with the idea that his job was and is as hard as mine but as I have been contemplating it lately I realized that it is. See I have had limited tunnel vision thinking that he works 8-5 comes home and that is it but then I realized his job is 24/7 like mine. He works his physical monetary job but then while he is doing that somewhere in his subconscious he thinks about not only providing financially for his family but spiritually, and emotionally too. Though his jobs may not be as labor intensive as mine they are as mentally intense as mine are.

When I thought about this when he got up so early this morning, (which if you know Jay you know that 6 is unimaginable for him; Give him 8:30 and we might be in business.) I realized that men sometimes don't get the recognition they deserve. With that said, I am not changing my feminist, independent views. I am simply realizing that indeed as the proclamation to the family states, each man and woman has individual roles that are ESSENTIAL, to the family. This was a testimony builder for me and I am grateful for the revelation.

I love Jeremy with all my heart and I truly appreciate all of his hard work. He is a needed part of our family. Without him we wouldn't be the same family. I love you babe!

Girl Fight

2009-02-25T13:13:00.000-08:00

So Taylor is the one who usually instigates every fight that her and paige get into. Well right now Paige was sitting on the couch coloring quietly and Taylor went over and put her head on her shoulder and was watching her. Then Taylor asked Paige if she could color and Paige quietly said no and then Taylor with her head on Paige's shoulder starts pushing paige's head with her head asking her again. Paige again said no and then Taylor turns around and starts kicking Paige. Paige not missing a beat pinches Taylor really hard. Then they begin to run around the house trying to hit each other and they run right into me in the kitchen. I told them it was enough and to go quietly read books while i finished cleaning up the kitchen from lunch. They are sitting on the couch and Taylor begins to kick at Paige again and then Paiges gets the bright idea, and I must admit it is a good one, to sit on Taylor to stop her. So the next thing I hear is Taylor screaming at the top of her lungs, "Paige is sitting on me, I can't breathe". Paige wouldn't get off until Taylor promised to stop bugging her. LOL Taylor OF COURSE wouldn't say it so I finally interjected but it really made me laugh. This doesn't usually make me laugh but Paige's ingenious thought to just sit on Taylor to stop her 1st made me proud and 2nd made me laugh. Thought I would share with you all just a moment of my day. LOL Can we believe there are going to be three?

And the baby is.....

2009-02-22T21:56:00.000-08:00

So we found out we are having a girl. That makes three now so I know everyone is so happy for us because baby's are such blessing but please bear with me for a moment as I knock everyone into a little reality. That means, 4 menstrual cycles running around the same time and the big kicker, 3 weddings possibly 3 missions as well. So that is the only negative I see at the moment.

When we were in the ultra sound room and the lady told us it was a girl, Paige began to cry. Poor little Paige wanted a little brother so bad! I think Paige will begin to adjust to the idea especially as I teach her more about her Gramie. I am hoping though that this little one comes out with blonde hair like Paige. Paige already kind of wonders why everyone else in her famiy has dark hair and she doesn't so I don't really want her to feel like the lone ranger.

We found out on my birthday, my 30th, and what a birthday it was. Jeremy had planned along with my brothers for a surprise party on Saturday. I had no idea but boy was it fun.

I am thankful for good friends and especially for a wonderful family! The next birthday in our family is..... Tayolor's! Arpril 13th!

Modesty

2009-02-03T13:45:00.000-08:00

As many people know I have had a dilema lately. My oldest friend is getting married on Saturday and her bridesmaids dresses are sleeveless. I have had a hard time with my previous decision just to wear the dress the way it was for the short period of time of pictures and the wedding.

One of my biggest concerns was the girls and their impressions of it. After I had a heart to heart with Paige explaining why I was going to wear the dress the way it was she seemed to understand.

When I was preparing my lesson for January it was on the talk by Elaine Dalton, " A Return to Virture." In this talk the quote by President Monson hit me like a ton of bricks and I realized that never in my life had I ever compromised my standards for anyone, not once. In that I realized that I couldn't wear the dress the way it was, that I had made a covenant with my Heavenly Father to always wear my garments and I would not break that covenant for anything in this world.

I communicated that to my girlfriend and asked a lady in the ward who had helped alter the dress to make a bolero for it. She was so willing and we went to the fabric store and got the material. Yesterday when I went over to try it on I came up stairs and Paige saw me and she said, "mom you look so pretty." I said thank you and she then said, "Are you wearing your garments?" See my girls have rarely ever seen me not wear my garments except maybe during the summer when we are at the pool all day. When I told her I was she was elated and she said, "Oh good, I am so happy." She had the biggest smile and look of relief on her face, it was amazing.

In that moment I was so thankful that my Heavenly Father had tested me and and that I had proved myself worthy of this particular blessing; it was so worth it. To see that my first decision had caused her a little turmoil and misunderstanding, to see that she was so excited to see that I had made the right decision was the only earthly approval I needed.

I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father saw my indecision, blessed me with a lesson to provide personal revelation, and then guided me to make what at the time was a difficult decision.

Pregnancy

2009-01-28T13:34:00.000-08:00

Okay I can't post any pictures of my tummy yet because I am not showing apparently. At least that is the word at playgroup but naked I sure have one but sorry can't post those.

I am fairly sure this is going to be a boy. I had this sweet dream that put all my apprehensions aside with having a boy the other night. I dreamed I was looking at my baby naked scared to wipe his bumb because well I just don't know how I'm supposed to do it really and then I was looking at him and he just smiled and beamed at me so big. I immediately picked him up all naked because let's be honest nothing is better then a naked little baby butt, I love naked baby's, and hugged and kissed him all over. This is when I pretty much knew for sure it was a boy and now I can hardly stay out of stores. ( I hope it is a boy because I dislike being wrong)

I told Jeremy last night that he better start padding the budget because all I can think of are the things I don't have for a boy, hats, onsies, clothes, blankets... blah blah blah and I don't know if I can hold out much longer. I think for this little one I will attempt to make a blanket. I was at the fabric store today and couldn't stop looking at blanket material. I don't sew, never sewn anyting in my life but I have great friends here that will help me and I always have my Gramie.

That is about the only good I can say at this point because I HATE BEING PREGNANT. I sincerely from the bottom of my heart hate it. I don't like crying when I can't figure out what to make for dinner. And worst of all my r.s. lessons are way to emotional for even me to handle.

I did have a scare a couple of weeks ago. I watched several kids one day and afterwards I went up stairs to get the girls ready for bed and went to the bathroom. When I pulled my pants down there was blood everywhere. I had felt like I had maybe a discharge earlier but I really hate to go pee and will hold it FOREVER, so I hadn't checked in several hours. (p.s. doesn't everyone hate to pull their pants down and sit on a cold seat?????) Anyway Jeremy gave me a blessing and when I woke up the next morning still blood, lots of it and so I had to go to the dr. They aren't really sure what is causing it but everything looks good. Jeremy's blessing was extremely comforting and probably the best one he has ever given me. What a blessing to have the priesthood in my home.

Lost tooth

2009-01-28T13:30:00.000-08:00

It's been forever since I have written. Christmas was good we had a nice quiet one. The snow storm was overwhelming after day 1 million and back to school is good.

I have a quick story to share. Taylor punched her cousin Erin in the face on Saturday night knocking out her tooth. We asked Taylor why she did and she said, "Because Erin was hurting my sister."

I knew I would have to worry about Taylor defending Paige at some point just was a little surprised it was family and this early. I am a bit proud that Taylor is so protective of Paige we just have to help redirect the way she defends her. LOL

Bedtime stories

2008-12-12T20:04:00.000-08:00

So I got done putting my girls to bed. Instead of story time tonight I let them put on a show for me while I recorded them. Well I went into my room to talk with Jay for a little while. I then needed to go to the laundry room for just a moment. On my walk I heard little voices talking so I grabbed what I needed out of the laundry room and went back to my room and grabbed the recorder. When I went to their room, Paige was in Taylor's bed reading her stories. They were sitting there on Taylor's bed reading. When Paige finished one book, she asked Taylor if she wanted to read another one. As Paige proceeded to tell the Nephite Christmas story to Taylor, Taylor asked if they killed Samuel and Paige recounted the entire story.

I love moments like these because I see the closeness that my girls are creating even though it seems like they fight so often. I am glad I got it on the recorder!

Holiday Season

2008-12-03T09:54:00.001-08:00

Well there aren't many pictures to show for Thanksgiving. Jeremy and I are a bit apprehensive taking our camera out after we lost it last year when we went hunting for our Christmas tree. We spent Thanksgiving with my brother Todd and his family. It was a nice quiet Thanksgiving and I really enjoyed the time we all spent together. We had Todd take a picture of our family on his couch because I finally realized that we don't have any family pictures really. That will all change in the next week or two!
As I contemplated what I was thankful for this year it pretty much revolved around family. I am so thankful for my immediate family and also for my extended family Families are truly eternal and I am grateful to be a part of an eternal family. I am thankful for the beauty of the earth for the different season we experience. I am thankful for my Savior, for his atonement, and his resurrection. I am thankful for modern day prophet who receives revelation and I am thankful for personal revelation. I am thankful to have a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father and to receive guidance as I need it in my life.

I am thankful for all my Heavenly Father has blessed me with and I am especially thankful for the Christmas season.

We went and got our Christmas tree this last weekend. We have a family tradition of going to Sleigh Bells where we cut our own tree, pick an ornament, see Santa, and enjoy some good food. When we got the tree home we quickly realized it was too big for our house. LOL We had to use a special stand that hold about 6 quarts of water, 900 lights, and cutting the top off just enough to try and get the star on. This year I let the girls help a lot with the ornaments so the tree looks a little bottom heavy but it's a good way for me to let go with the tree. I have rearranged several ornaments but I really had a good time doing the decorations with the girls.

I love the spirit of the season. So much joy can be felt with all the hustle and bustle, the smells, the giving, the receiving, and the decorations that center around our Savior. I am excited for this holiday as I always am!

Merry Christmas!

Food Coloring

2008-11-21T16:02:00.001-08:00

It has taken me a day to write about this. I am cooled down now and not so angry. Yesterday Taylor got into the food coloring and got it all over herself and my carpet. The thing about Taylor is she is so darn curious. What are ya gonna do?

Prop 8

2008-11-13T11:53:00.000-08:00

Big News

2008-11-11T08:09:00.000-08:00

Well it's true baby 3 is on the way! We are really only a couple weeks along but it is still fun and exciting to share the news! Here's hoping this one's a boy!

Callings

2008-11-09T13:20:00.000-08:00

Well I have been released as the primary chorister and have been called and sustained as the 4th Sunday teacher in Relief Society. I must admit that if I could pick any calling at church it wouldn't be to teach Relief Socity. With that said I am so excited and grateful the Lord has given me this challenge because I am sure the blessings and benefits will be wonderful.

A few things about being primary chorister. I LOVED IT. It was my favorite calling to date in the church. To listen to the children sing the simple truths of the gospel each week gave me the endurance for the week to go on. I could feel my testimony grow each week as I would sing with them. When my mom died it was through singing those songs that I stayed close to the gospel and had the many questions I had answered. I think that no other calling has brought me so much joy and I will miss it.

I am excited for my new calling and so excited to study, ponder, and pray over gospel principles for a month at a time. I am anxious to become more scholarly with the gospel and have my testimony fed in a new way. Like I said in an earlier post, the Lord never takes away without giving something in return. Sometimes we just need to be willing and ready to receive the challenge or trial first and then the blessings are revealed in beauty and splendor. I am excited to embark on a new calling!

Election Day 2008

2008-11-04T21:33:00.000-08:00

I write today with a sense of humility and awe at this great nation that I live in. America has always been progressive, we have always strived for more and we have always had a foundation in our creator. Today we elected Barack Obama as our country's newest president. I am so excited that my children and grandchildren will read about this historic day and know that in a moment of time America was strong again. Barack Obama is truly an example of the American dream.

As I prepared for this election I had to look deep into my soul to see what defines me as an American. Is it that I am a registered Republican or is it that I truly believe that this country is "one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." When I sat down and began to ponder who I would vote for I had to way my moral compass with that of each candidate. That is when I realized both have a piece of the pie.

One of the turning points for me was watching a mini series that HBO put on called "John Adams". When I watched this show I was reminded at how much turmoil there was as we founded this country. I realized the discord and strife that existed between our founding fathers and then it hit me; they each had a piece of the pie. Line upon line, precept upon precept we move forward and we grow. Our country must evolve and grow and we must look beyond party lines.

As I watched tonight I saw a country united, with patriotism resounding, and Americans rejoicing. America came together and when we are united we are powerful. Our God has blessed us with this great nation, he has defined our roles as citizens, and has given us power. I believe that no matter who the president is, we are still a country "under God" and he alone, guides us. We may forget, we may turn away BUT his will and eternal plan will prevail.

I am grateful to live here. I am grateful that here I may worship my God according to the dictates of my own conscience, that the inalienable rights of all humans is fought for, where we believe all men are created equally. I am grateful for fore fathers who were God fearing men and for leaders today that stand ready and willing to serve and devote their lives to the service of their country.

This land is truly blessed. God bless America.

Paig'e Halloween Party

2008-11-03T22:19:00.000-08:00

On the 28th, Paige's class had a Halloween party. All the Kindergarten classes did a parade throughout the school. Here are some pictures of some of her favorite friends.

This is Paige's table. They made monster mash so I made Paige put her coat on so it didn't ruin her costume. I'm lucky I was there to help in the classroom that day. The kids that sit at her table are Garrick, Gabriel, Paige, and Chloe.

This is Hunter. He has quite the little crush on Paige. He is very protective of her and he is rather tall for his age. He always gets so tickled when Paige gives him a hug or any attention at all really.

These last two are of her favorite girlfriends. The first is of her and Marlene and the latter is of Marlene, Paige, and Madeline. I think both of these girls are really nice.

Hope you enjoy the pictures!

Halloween

2008-11-03T21:56:00.000-08:00

We had a fun Halloween this year. Usually we will only do a couple of houses in our neighborhood and then head up to the church for trunk or treat. This year we actually went with friends around the neighborhood and then had a Halloween party right after.

The girls picked out their own costumes this year. Several months ago the girls told me what they wanted to be and I thought nothing of it. Paige said she wanted to be Dorothy and Taylor wanted to be a witch again but she wanted her face green. As I began finishing their costumes on Halloween I realized, Dorothy and the wicked witch. This was completely their choice. When they are older I will tell them it was their choice and that the costumes did fit their personalities at the time. See Taylor is all good with just a tweak of wicked witch in her but like her costume only a small portion is the wicked part(green face), and the rest is the good(the rest of the adorable costume.)

Many thanks to Aunt Mettie. She found these costumes at a store and picked them up for us. Paige's Dorothy costumed glistened in the night and Taylor's sparkled. I made Taylor's hat, shocker I know but isn't it cute? All the thanks for that goes to my friend Heidi who is creative, artistic, and shear genius.

The girls were so good trick or treating. Paige and Taylor were part of the older kids and they ran from door to door. It was fun to see their independence. We did have a scary thing happen though. This lady wearing a mask approached Paige and asked her for candy. Jeremy hunted her down to find out who she was and then we found out she was a lady in our neighborhood. It was creepy and Jeremy told the lady so!

We had a great Halloween! The only downside was that I bought a ton of candy and didn't give out one piece of it. I think I will end up throwing it all away.

Perfect Love

2008-10-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

So the girls pretty much try to come into our bed every night. Lately I have been hearing them enough to wake up before they get there and tell them to go potty and to go back to bed. Last night however, when Taylor came in I told her to go potty so she did but she came back and said, "I just want to rub your head mommy." I have been sick the last couple of days so Taylor will come up and rub my head every so often just like her Daddy does. As she climbed into bed she began rubbing my head . While I was laying there holding Jeremy's hand and holding Taylor's other hand this feeling of peace filled my heart. I realized at this moment that our children exhibit more Christ like love then anybody else. I realized that Taylor and Paige are so quick to forgive, that they really only see the good that we do and they are so eager to do things that will please us and make us feel happy. When they are older they will begin to dislike the things we dislike in ourselves but for now they adore us and love us perfectly.

I often joke that my children must not like me that much to not listen that well but the reality is they love me, like I love my mother. This time will soon pass and they will begin to find fault in me but I am thankful that for one moment in time I really understood how much I mean to them. This allows me to understand that my patience and tolerance is needed much more than sternness or discipline. Heavenly Father's plan really is perfect. It is only through our family relationships, husband/wife, parent/child, brother/sister that we learn to love one another perfectly like our Saviour loves us.

Friendship

2008-10-20T21:39:00.001-07:00

So yesterday was our primary program; it went well. The kids sang very well for having such a small primary and the special things we did with different songs was a nice change. Paige did great on her speaking part and then for her talk on temples she froze. She did fine I just had to remind her a lot in her ear which wasn't something that I was prepared to do so I didn't have her talk with me. Overall I think she did fantastic. A 5 year old speaking in sacrament meeting, that's pretty awesome. I cannot believe that Taylor will be in primary in just 3 months. Amazing how time has flown.

I've been thinking a lot about friends lately. Since Jeremy and I have been married we have really only had one couple that we would say is "our couple". They are the Boyer's. We have known them for almost our entire marriage and have become very close to them. They are forever friends. Last year at this time our they began to get very serious about the possibility of moving back to Utah. To make a long story short, they moved a couple of weeks ago. As much as I hate to see them go I have peace in the fact that we will always have them as friends and our first cruise will be with them. =^) Their move though hard for us is exciting and great for them.

It seems that the Lord rarely takes away without providing. Just as the Boyer's were getting ready to move, Jay and I began making close friendships with other people. They too will be forever friends but they all moved too, well the Kland's will finalize their move in two weeks. Just when I wondered if we would have any other couples that we could call "good" friends we went on a couples date with a couple, camping with more and BAM we have some more forever friends. Jeremy and I both have friends and make friends easily (well I do) but to find couples that you both like is difficult.

So tonight I am grateful for the good friends we have. I am grateful that the Lord has blessed Jay and I with friends that we will have for life, that share our values, and that we can share our adult lives with, have a "rock'n good" time with, and don't judge my mt. dew addiction.

If you are a friend of mine or ours, know that I am truly grateful for your friendship and what it brings to my life. Friendship is an essential part of this life and I am grateful for it.

p.s. I wonder why it gets easier to yell at my kids as the day progresses. Oh wait, because I am tired of repeating myself 6 billion times. See, ask and it shall be given to thee . Answers to my question that is.

Reading

2008-10-14T15:00:00.000-07:00

Today I am very excited because I have struggled with learning how to teach Paige how to read. Sometimes I don't quite know the best way to help a 5 year old understand concepts so I usually end up getting frustrated with her and myself and so I usually just quit teaching her concepts until I find something that works or that she is shown to enjoy.

A couple of my friends referred me to the "I See Sam" reading series that schools across Utah use to begin teaching reading. We got the package in the mail today and Paige breezed through the first three books no problem before she was done reading. It was a very positive experience for her and myself because it seems so simplistic BUT she read through three very short books. These little achievements help her build confidence and make it a fun experience. I just know that she is going to begin to really take off with her reading. She is such a smart cookie with an amazing memory.

One of the other fun things I discovered with my kids was washing dishes. I have always had a dishwasher and have never really had the kids help me with it except to load their own dishes. Well our garbage disposal broke so Jay had to replace it. When he replaced it the dishwasher stopped draining so for a few days, I was left to wash dishes by hand. I had Taylor help me one morning last week to give her something to do and she loved it! Both the girls enjoyed doing it so much and it was actually fun. I usually like to pound out the dishes quickly after meals but this was so much more enjoyable. Now the dishwasher is working again but I still find letting the girls help me with the dishes, though it take a bit longer, is so much fun! The cooking thing I am trying to work on as well and I will get better at that!

It's been nice that Jeremy doesn't have any immediate projects right now. For the last week, he has been getting home at a normal hour and man is it nice. The girls are really happy to! This is a big week for us. Paige will be giving a talk in Sacrament meeting! Oooooo she will do so great!

Baby Alive

2008-10-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

So I had to take a moment out of my play time with the girls to write this funny little story down. For Paige's birthday her Grandma Laura sent her a Baby alive. I specifically asked for the one that doesn't poop and doesn't eat food. Grandma Laura agreed and sent the one that pee's only and drinks water only. Well Paige, Taylor, and I were giving the baby it's bottle of water and the baby kept crying, me thinking that the baby was done peeing, opened up the diaper and just as I did it I got a jet stream of water in my face for a good 3 seconds, it was hilarious. The girls and I started laughing hysterically and of course we had to do it again.

One of the precious moments when I enjoying motherhood.

Pickles

2008-09-29T10:26:00.001-07:00

On Saturday we celebrated my niece Zoe's birthday. Among the many things that Zoe received the stand out item for our dear Taylor was the jar of pickles. As Taylor sat silently watching, after Zoe finished looking at the card and the pickles, Taylor said while everyone was quiet, "When it's my birthday I will have pickles." HAHAHA I about died laughing. She was dead serious, so if you are ever in the market to buy Taylor a present, it's easy, just send pickles.

This was a night of laughs. When we got to my brother's house we were looking at some pictures we had retrived from storage. It took me a minute but then I noticed a pregnancy test on the table. I turned it over and my sister-in-law Paula is pregnant. I congratulated her and then I got a bright idea. See Jeremy was in the other room and since we are about ready to start trying for baby #3, I thought I would trick him. So I called to him to have him come in, quickly, I had everyone get really quiet. Then I said, "I want to share this happy news with everyone." Then I handed Jeremy the positive test. His response was hilarious, he said, "this better be a f'ing joke." Everyone broke up laughing and I said no babe Paula is pregnant and he immediately started laughing and gave her a big hug of congratulation.

It was good to clean out Mom's stuff. It wasn't nearly as hard this time as it was last time. We moved as quick as we could and there was absolutely no arguing. We were all gracious with one another and gave to eachother freely if there was something that one of us really needed. I think as Mom watched she was grateful as I am grateful for the example she set. She always told us that if one of her parents died, no material item was more important to her then the relationship she had with siblings. I felt as we walked away saying our last goodbye, that we all grew a little closer. I think families are amazing, I think in them we experience so many things that make us better people. I am so grateful for my family and my own little family. Within these families that we all have we grow more and more like our Saviour exhibiting Christ like love through the service, devotion, and sacrifice we give to one another. I am thankful for my family.

2008-09-16T12:36:00.000-07:00

So today when I took Paige to school, right outside of her classroom were their self portraits with the a description of why it is great to be 5. So I found Paige's and read, "It's great to be 5 because I can step on a fly with my shoe." LOL

I remember before I was pregnant, before I was ever thinking about getting pregnant, when all I had were 5 million names for the babies I was gonna have when I wanted 5 children, things do change don't they, and I remember specifically saying that I didn't really care what my kids looked like as long as they were funny. And you know, I have SUPER funny kids and cute ones. I think most people find their kids funny so what's funny to me may not be funny to others but I really have kids with GREAT personality's. Honestly, if you know them you know what I mean.

We were at Fred Meyer the other day and when we were walking out we passed the christmas light section. The girls got so excited and Paige walked to the other side of the isle and when she saw the Christmas stuff, she started singing in a hannah montana type melody, "Christmas..." then Taylor walks over to the otherside and starts singing, louder then Paige, "CHRISTMAS...." and they made up all their own lyrics right there in the store and people were walking by laughing. Those are the tender moments when I am thankful to be a mother... When they are fighting, WHOLE different story.

Today, right this second, might change by the time I am done writing this so I better hurry and say it, I am grateful to be a mother.... ACTUALLY I am grateful always to be a mother but right now I feel touchy feely about it... that could change if I hear a scream from the other room.

Funny story about this little boy in my primary. We are singing several songs right now and one of the things I try to get the kids to do is to watch me continuously. Well this little boy who is now 4 but in Sunbeams did the funniest thing in the world. I was holding out a note and all the kids were watching when I cut off except this little boy who kept singing the same note while he looked around the room. I couldn't really ask him to stop because I was laughing to hard and I didn't want to make him feel silly for singing. Let's face it, I would rather they all do that then not sing at all. The same little boy kept making me laugh because he was singing so earnestly that he was off beat the entire song. SUNBEAMS are the greatest I've decided either they sing and give it their all and then some, or they don't sing at all. I really love my calling. I don't think there is anything else I would rather do. I get to sing and teach gospel principles. Music touches my soul and I love listening to the kids sing. If I was released I think there would be huge void in my life. I don't really want to do anything else.... Watch now I will get a new calling. BETTER NEVER BE WARD CHOIR DIRECTOR.... I will say no. HAHAHA yah right.