So the baby blues seem to be fleeting. I now have feelings of guilt as I find my patience for my children basically null and void. I think I can chalk that up to sleep deprivation though. I must say lately I have been really wishing that i had had the kids all 2 years a part. I waited after Taylor because two seemed so difficult. Three has yet to prove to be this momentous task BUT I feel as if I am not giving my girls all the attention they need and deserve both emotionally and academically. I think there have been days these last two weeks in which the girls have watched maybe 4 hours of TV. I guess i just feel bad because I had these schedules for them for the summer all ready to go and then the baby came a week after we started them and now the schedules are shot to hell. The one thing that keeps me sane is knowing that in about a month and certainly by the time school starts we will be somewhat on a normal schedule and this short period of time will HOPEFULLY have done little to damage them.
I must say the girls are everything I hoped they would be with the baby. I knew that Taylor would poke and prod her to see how she works and Paige would just tenderly love and hold her. I under estimated how difficult managing their enthusiasm would be. The baby has been kicked in the head, almost dropped, and smothered all by two little girls who just love her more then life itself. While not wanting to damage this new love in their life, I still find myself telling the girls more then I had planned to, "be careful, settle down, Taylor stop singing so loud" the best yet is, "stop touching her."
Elle is such a little lover. So far she has proved to be a really good baby and is growing rapidly. At her two week appointment she was already 6lbs. We love her and feel so complete with her in our lives.
Motherhood as always is a daunting task and experience but I really wouldn't change it for the world. I would just change myself.
Okay really must go the milk is letting down and it hurts like heck!
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2 comments:
Are you crazy? Give your self some slack Nicole. You just had a baby and of course your schedule is thrown off. Basically it will never be the same. You just have to readjust as you deal with the different stages of your baby. I have to admit the more kids I have the easier I find it to juggle them. Hailey I have really enjoyed because I have learned that you can't control everything. Take a deep breath and just enjoy every day as it comes. And as my mom has always told me...babies are tougher than they look. Although Hailey has been dropped not by the kids but by dad. You gotta watch those men I tell ya.
I think we can all relate somewhat to this post. I too have fears of not being the mom I need to be to Clark when the baby is here. I have to laugh when I read your post as it brings back memories.
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